Aging

I’ve been thinking about aging a lot as I’m fading into the 3rd quarter of my 30s & so many friends/peers are in their 40s. Aging has always been gradual, but suddenly, it is all too noticeable. I got so used to my body as it was, but everything is changing. My general resilience has tanked; my skin, muscles, metabolism are all just a bit off. I’ve been getting more injuries which last longer & small physical inconveniences like headaches and tiredness can no longer be easily “powered through.”My energy, fortitude and tolerance are drastically reduced & it’s all a bit depressing.

I finally get why people have kids. Well, maybe not the primary reason in their conscious minds, but, wow, it a good way to avoid dealing with aging. To be wanted, needed, by a being so new, delightful, all-consuming. To be surrounded by external youthfulness is such a wonderful distraction from an inevitable and immutable self-decline.

I’m not going to have kids (at least not intentionally), so I don’t have that relief. I have the usual distractions (work and entertainments like shows and sports), but those still leave some time for self-assessment.  These cells just don’t replicate like they used to.

On the other hand, aging has brought a lot of good things: better communication skills, more knowledge, perspective, dare I say wisdom, people, wardrobe, makeup skill, career advancement, resources & expertise. Best of all, a bit of mind control to mitigate the frenzies that used to besiege me.

I guess it’s a bit like walking along a seesaw, some attributes start to go up while others go down & it’s jarring when the angle changes beneath you.  I’m ready, just not very steady.

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