Media Monopoly script
Class Acts Theater Troupe (2004)
written by: LuQ

Characters:

1 Protestor [P]:  independent, strong and angry, but not quite up to the task of dealing with media bigwigs
Costume: wearing a hat (perhaps a knit one) and dressed like an indie protestor (jeans + t-shirt [wordless] or funky hippie garb of some sort)
Props: a large sign (or two smaller signs) with slogans such as:  Mass Media Misrepresents!  Propaganda as news!  Where is our voice?
 Form your own opinion!

2 "Talking Heads" [TH1 + TH2]:  very confident - to the point of condescension (to everyone) like television news anchorpeople; to the audience, they are loud and overly familiar, friendly and plastic; to the protestor, they are overtly hostile.   They try to hide the hostile (protestor-facing) side of them from the public (should be a little less loud - may even speak in a whisper), but do not succeed because they let their annoyance get the best of them.
Costumes: dressed in newscaster clothes (suits or nice dress) with some makeup on (blush especially) to give the plastic look and a bulbous silver antenna coming from the back collar to be about 3" above the head (aluminum foil?).   
Props: each talking head is holding a microphone (or has a large lavalier pinned to their front collar), like a street reporter. (+ antennas)   
TH1 has a badge saying "Faux News" with a version of the Fox news logo and "scare + callused" in smaller letters.   
TH2 has "ABC"-like logo with very large capital letters and saying "Asinine Banal Conclusions".

Staging: should be fairly large open space (such as boston common), preferably about 50 X 50 feet, though it could be done in 20 X 20 foot space.  {All characters are off-stage to begin with: TH1 and TH2 are hiddent behind trees or around corners; TH1 is stage-right (will be behind and to the left of protestor) and TH2 is stage-left (will be behind and to the right of the protestor; P starts from the distance from center backstage (not near either TH1 or TH2)}  

Scene 1:

--P marches
{P marches forcefully to stand center-stage, about 5' back from the front-edge of the stage area and then holds the sign up high.  Note: P is not exactly rigid, but seems forceful, strong, energetic.}
P: "Mass Media Lies!"   {P may continue saying slogans or be silently defiant}
--TH1 and TH2 walk, pause, pass P
{TH1 and TH2 come out from their hiding places and begin walking in unison (left-right-left) towards P in a 'V' formation (with the point of the V being the area just in front of the protestor) - though they are aware of each other, their attention is focused on the protestor until they reach a point about 5 feet behind (and to the sides of) P - they will stop and slowly turn to acknowledge each other - they exchange predatory smiles and TH1 winks at TH2.  Then, they quickly adopt "serious" faces and resume walking in unison to the point just in front of the protestor.  They end up standing squarely in front of P (at the very front of the stage).  P is visible to, but obstructed from the audience.}
--P stops, grows incredulous
{now that TH1 and TH2 are in front of P, P notices the talking heads.   P immediately stops 'protesting' and looks at TH1 and TH2.}  
{As TH1 and TH2 begin talking, the protestor grows incredulous, shocked at the audacity of these media meatheads.}
TH1 (smiling broadly):  "Welcome, Folks to Faux News!  Tonight, we have all the facts on the swath of hurricanes over the summer."
TH2 (joking): "Did chaos theory cause this?"
{*P will interject at the word "that" in the following sentence, and TH1 will slowly quiet down and stop speaking after the interjection}
TH1 (laughing):  "Not only that, but we have an update on the internet rumor of mass protests that* are sweeping the nation...
P (*interrupting): "What are you doing? [irate]  Can't you see I was standing here?"
TH2 (slightly strained, but smiling):  "Right after this message from our sponsors."
--TH1 turns head to address P
{TH1 continues to stand squarely with body facing the audience, but turns head slightly to address P - voice is unintentionally loud, as if audience is not meant to hear, but  TH1 is too caught up in the moment to be careful;  TH2 is still smiling facing front.}
TH1 (condescending):  "No, we didn't see anything of consequence.".
--P gets upset
--TH2 takes sign from P 
{P is clearly out of his element - P stares slack-jawed as TH1 is speaking, completely aghast.  After TH1 finishes line, P continues staring at TH1 and relaxes grip on sign.   When TH1 finishes the line, then TH2 turns and sees P distracted.   TH2 rips the sign out of P's hands.  P and TH2 glare at each other while TH1 says next line}
TH1 continues (dismissively):  "Why don't you go stand over there." {TH1 gestures to an area in the distance behind P}
--TH2 throws sign
{After TH1 gestures, TH2 throws sign in the direction indicated (as far as possible); TH2 turns to face front immediately after throwing the sign and ignores P completely}
P (petulant): "Hey!"
TH2 (cheerful again):  "Disney, we bring good things to life!" {sing-song, said like GE motto}
--P goes to sign
{As TH2 continues talking, it is clear to P that his protests are futile and so P walks dejectedly back to pick up the sign.  P turns back towards TH1 and TH2 and looks at them and shakes his head, somewhere between anger and defeat.}

Scene 2:

TH1: "A recent survey found that 92% of people around the world support U.S. Foreign policy; the other 9% don't have TVs <laughs>, so they don't know any better." <smiles big>
--P goes to the right of TH1 and TH2, stands defiant
{While TH1 and TH2 continue their spiel, protestor defiantly (but with less energy than at the beginning)  moves away from the TH1-designated spot, to a place about 15' to the right of TH2, also at the front of the stage}
TH2: "That's right, Chuck.  And the Internet has been found to be the source of unfounded rumors once again, this time about mass protests in the U.S.   According to official sources, there have been no protests in this country in the last 3 decades."
--TH2 catches sight of protestor
{By the end of previous line, P is in place and at this point TH2 notices P with a slight head-turn, quickly turning back to face front after}
TH1: "Not since the Vietnam war, Michelle."
P shouts: "Propaganda as news!"
--TH2 and TH1 approach protestor
{While saying the following line (facing front as if nothing is happening), TH2 edges towards the protestor.  TH1 walks quickly in an arc behind TH2 and P to the right-side of P}
TH2 (smiling strained):  "Yes, Chuck.  We're lucky to have such patriotic citizens in this land of the free.   In other news, the Election season has come and gone.   This year, we had an a-ma-zing 98% voter turnout!"
--TH1 and TH2 flank protestor
{when previous line is complete, TH1 should be at the right of P and TH2 should be at the left of P (close in at the sides of P)}
--P looks nervously at TH2 and TH1
{when TH1 and TH2 are flanking P, P begins looking nervoulsy from one to the other, but stands his ground}
TH1 (smiling): "Proving that we really are..." 
--TH1 pulls P's hat down
{While saying previous line, TH1 pulls P's hat down over P's eyes}
P: <unintelligible noise of rage/surprise> Mmrrgghh!
--P pushes hat up
{While saying previous line, P reaches up with both hands to push hat up past eyes - elbows sticking out at the sides}
--TH1 + TH2 grab P's elbows
{When P pushes hat up, TH1 grab's P's right elbow and TH2 grabs P's left elbow, when both elbows are graped, begin next line}
TH1 + TH2 (simultaneously): "The greatest democracy in the world!"
--TH1 + TH2 spin P counter-clockwise
{While saying the previous line, TH1 and TH2 begin spinning P by the elbows (P's hands remain on his head) non-chalantly, as if winding a clock.  They spin P right-to-left and P is visibly outraged, but unable to resist.}
--TH1 + TH2 push P
{After previous line ends, TH1 and TH2 spin P one or one and a half times more until P is facing back (away from audience); at this point TH1 puts right hand on P's left shoulder and TH2 puts left hand on P's right shoulder and they both pretend to push}
--P stumbles and drops sign
{When P feels hands on his shoulders, P will stumble forward as if pushed hard - TH1 and TH2 will follow with their hands and bodies as if they did the pushing.  P ends up 5-15 feet behind the talking heads, still visible, but no longer 'with' them}

Scene 3:

--P remains in place, disoriented, for the first few lines
TH2 (celebratory): "In other news, the strength of the dollar is rising fast!"
--TH2 picks up the sign
{After completing the previous line, TH2 picks up the sign and holds it nonchalantly}
TH1: "Soundly beating the yur-ro...  Perhaps if they quit their whining and let robust Turkey into their exclusive yacht club..."
--TH2 smashes the sign
{When TH1 says "euro", TH2 smashes the sign violently over a knee, perhaps stomping on it a bit.}
TH2: "And if they kicked out effeminate Frenchie and spineless Spainky..."
--TH1 glares menacingly at P
--P backs off and takes out phone
{While TH2 says the previous line, TH1 looks back at P until eyecontact is made.  P is both frightened and enraged.   P backs away slowly and takes out a cellphone with defiance and dials it}
TH1 (with deprecating vehemence): "They might have a chance at economic, and political, plausibility."
TH2: "I couldn't agree more, Chuck.  Then they might even be worthy of the title, 'The United States of Europe'"
--TH1 and TH2 share a laugh at that
--TH1 and TH2 look at P who is talking [miming] and gesturing into phone, visibly agitated
TH1 (distracted): "And it's going to be another long winter, Michelle."
TH2 (rushed): "And that concludes today's broadcast.  Tune in tomorrow for another earful and have a great day!"
--TH1 and TH2 rush P
--P tries to back away still talking into the phone
--TH1 and TH2 catch P and P struggles
--TH1 takes apart his microphone and applies the inside wiring to P's neck (as if using a tazer)
--P streches taught in pain, then collapses (into TH1 and TH2's arms, who are firmly holding P)
--TH1 and TH2 carry/drag P from the scene

The end.