When I hit the early teenage years, I was often made fun of for being so “hairless,” and “like a girl” (especially my legs which wore shorts for Track & Cross-country sports). I did have some hair on my legs, but it was fine, sparse and very light blonde, nearly invisible. I didn’t have to shave my face (nor my armpits) at all until I was 16 and then only but once a week. By the time I turned 18, I had a bit more hair on my face, needing to shave almost every day, but by then I’d gotten so used to being nearly hairless that I liked it. And of course, I was by then exploring my femininity. So I wasn’t exactly thrilled with the extra hair growth and did my best to keep it in check.
As I moved into my early 20s, every year seemed to bring more hair and darker hair and by then I really had to shave my face every day and even had a little stubble at the end of the day. Even my leg hair got much darker. In my mid-20s, I was cursing internally every day in the shower because I really hated having to shave my face, which felt like such an irregular shape for a flat blade to go over (especially my neck and below my chin which never had more than 2 or 3 hairs until recently), but not as much as I hated having hair there, especially now that much of it was brown and some of it black. So I started fantasizing about laser surgery to get rid of the hair. And I started talking about it a lot until my then-girlfriend did some research for me (I was nervous to try and find a laser person who takes men). She talked to several places and some didn’t want to or didn’t seem to know about doing men and several others told her that with my skin type (pale) and light hair, I would be a bad for that. She ended up with the impression that electrology was the way to go and she bought me an intro session to try it out.
Not knowing much and more than a little scared, I arrived at the salon for the first time and met the electrologist. She brought me to a room in the back and shut the door. She had me lay back on a padded table and then put on her gloves and glasses and basically started right in before I had much of a chance to know what was going on. Wow! It was a truly horrible sensation. First, she shoves a needle into the hair follicle (stabbing you), then she clicks on the current (electrocuting you) and then withdraws the needle and yanks out the hair (from the still stinging follicle). Repeat a few hundred times (for almost the full half-hour session). There was a little blood, but not much. There was a lot of red, irritated skin. I had tears in my eyes at times, but refrained from crying until after I’d left, then I had tears streaming down my eyes and it was hard to drive, but I just wanted to get home.
She had explained to me that it would probably take about a year of coming every week to get rid of the hair growth. She also explained that I should buy some antibiotic ointment for the treated areas which should help it heal better (and keep it from getting infected). She also neglected to use any ointments or anything on me, but did suggest I could buy some and apply it one hour beforehand (the price I later learned was something like 100$ for a tiny bottle). The only thing I got was a wet paper towel to slightly cool the affected areas.
It was so horrible, it was almost zen-like. I mean, I really had to become one with the pain, there was no avoiding it and my mind became almost blank. I decided to give it another shot, even if my chin did swell up and change my face completely (square jaw – I don’t have a square jaw, I have a pointy jaw – aggh! I look like Robert Smith!), for a few days. I spoke to her about the swelling the next time and she said that sometimes happens and that I should ice for a while afterwards to avoid it (right after that session, I went to my girlfriend’s work up the street from the salon to beg for an ice pack and from then onwards, I kept an ice pack on hand).
The electrology, or should I say, electrified needles and plucking, was painful every time, but I actually appreciated it for its metaphysical properties – I always felt very alive (during and right after) and more connected to my body than usual. And of course I was dedicated to my goal of not having to shave my face and neck (I had originally considered it for my legs also, but the relatively low priority of that and the high pain and cost [over time] changed my mind on that one). Initially, she only could get through small areas of my face, but later she could cover larger areas. She wasn’t always as fast as I would hope (which is less painful and more productive), but I remember one session, she was able to cover the whole face (and neck, oh, the most painful part, except for near the lips – double-ouch!!). But she explained that the hairs grow in cycles, so not all the hairs were there at once.
The hair growth seemed to get a little better, but not as significantly better as I was hoping. After about 6 months with no major change, I asked her about how long it would be again and she said that it would be years. She said I’d need to come every week for the full year and then come every other week or so for another year or so. She denied ever having said it would only take a year and I wondered if I’d gotten it wrong. I made it through the year and then another year of every other week (roughly) and around then (after having said it would take a long time to complete), she started suggesting I’d be a good candidate for laser surgery, because my hair was [mostly] dark and my skin was so pale (which is apparently the ideal situation). I kept going to electrology for a while, but it didn’t seem to be making an appreciable difference. Turns out my electrologist also did laser, but at a different location. I asked her about it and discussed it with my aunt (who is a dermatology nurse) and she explained that it’s not really permanent hair removal, but permanent hair reduction, but she said the price was good (much cheaper than the 1000+ dollars that I’d heard of). So, I decided to try it out.
I first had a tiny test area done (at my aunt’s recommendation) to see how my skin would react. There was a little swelling, but nothing too bad, so I went back for a full session. It wasn’t like fire, but more like a branding iron or the sun. You could smell the faint tinge of cooked skin. Unbelievably hot, but only for a fraction of a second, then again. The area covered by the laser attachment was pretty small, maybe only 1-inch square, but magnitudes bigger than that of an electrology needle (one hair follicle at a time). And since it was so fast, it felt like a cakewalk, compared to what I was used to (the total laser part took probably 5 minutes). Afterwards, she put on some aloe and gave me a bag of ice. I felt like I’d been stung by a nest of bees, but the ice helped a lot. Although I was red at first, it calmed down pretty quickly (faster than electrology) and actually my skin cleared up a bit too. I’d found my new hero.
Of course, the same questions remained and this time, the stakes were higher. Laser cost more than 7X what electrology cost, per session. But it was supposed to be only about 4-6 sessions total (as opposed to apparently hundreds), though she was a bit vague about the treatment schedule (as she’d been with electrology). This time I’d done more research though and I knew it was actually a vague thing, depending a lot on each person’s physiology and also I knew it wasn’t going to be 100% effective (which I’d naively believed at first was a likely or definite result). She indicated that it should be more effective since I’d had all the electrology and the hair follicles were already weakened, but I reckoned it would take at least 6 sessions, but I knew my budget and patience would end about then.
I think I did about 3 sessions (2-3) with her up in Reading and then she decided to stop doing laser and recommended I go to her sister’s practice. The woman who did laser there (not the sister, but a friend/contractor) was actually an RN (ironically from around Reading, though the sessions were in Medford, much closer to my place and Boston) and she was actually quite a cool woman. The original woman was taking me for a bit of a ride I think. Nice enough, but not very open about risks (especially the potential ineffectiveness of treatment) and not nearly as efficient with the treatments as she could’ve been; I mainly stuck with her through inertia and fear (fear of taking my gender transgressions somewhere where they might give me a hard time). The new woman seemed a lot more open and asked all about my history and wanted me to keep track of how effective it is and give her feedback and such. She even gave me a “photo-facial” once as a freebee, because she felt bad about only spending 1 minute total on my beard area (that’s all it took and she was very efficient).
The laser treatments seemed to be more effective than the electrology, but still not as effective as I would’ve liked. I went for 7 sessions total (4-5 with the new person) and it didn’t seem worthwhile to keep going, though I suppose I may go back for a “touchup” at some point. I’m still shaving every day, but now I can go a day without shaving if I want to without showing stubble (the hair is a lot less dense and most of it is lighter and I have hardly any growth on my neck and none around the base of my chin, which was the most irritating part to shave), so I suppose I’ve reversed things to some extent. I do feel a lot happier about it now, partially having come to accept it and partially being rewarded with much less hair growth. I don’t feel it was a waste of time because all the sessions were very intense and really put me in touch with my body (a little pain isn’t always a bad thing) and helped get me through a bad period in my life, giving me something to hold onto (and something that I was stronger than).
The kicker though is that the latest laserologist (or whatever they’re called) told me in the last two sessions that I really ought to go get some electrology to finish off with the lighter colored hairs (which the laser doesn’t really get). Nuh-uh, sister, that chapter is closed.
