“Selfish” is a pejorative not dissimilar from “bitch” – sometimes, it’s actually kind of a compliment, indicating a kind of self-respecting independence that doesn’t cater to other people’s whims.
I had several girlfriends who accused me of being selfish when I didn’t want to go along with a particular plan, and in retrospect, I realized that they were mad that I wasn’t being selfless and accepting their own desires as priorities.
I love collaboration and sharing, but for me, that doesn’t involve capitulation; instead, it’s about dialog and negotiation. Yes, my own feelings and desires are important. I don’t see how this is a bad thing.
Moreover, we’re all “selfish” in that we care primarily about ourselves. Some people may take it to the extreme (of caring very little about anyone else), but we all prioritize ourselves. Even what we call altruism is not entirely selfless, some people really like helping others or some cause – it may benefit people/forces outside themselves, but it makes them feel good inside.
p.s. I’m no Ayn Rand acolyte, but the title earns it a place of prominence on my bookshelf.
There is one other thing that I appreciate about Ayn’s philosophy – her utter faith in self-reliance. Despite being anti-poor and a far cry from “liberal” she would absolutely disapprove of the corporate welfare system we have in this country with bank and car company bailouts and oil industry subsidies.