With the mainstream Gay Rights movement laser-focused on marriage equality, I feel it is missing an opportunity to advance more fundamental changes. The heterosexuals at large (including those in label only) are growing more and more tolerant – so that very few of them (mostly older, rural folks) even dislike gay people, let alone hate them. The vast majority seem to understand that gay/queer people are regular human beings and should be able to live their lives as full citizens. But many people, even some well-meaning, gay-friendly straights, feel a bit squicky about gay marriage – probably because they’ve had the princess and prince charming straight-marriage-is-bliss fantasy drilled into their head since they first experienced language. This is the vulnerability that the haters are exploiting.
The growing tolerance for difference is triggering backlash from the haters, a potent minority, who keep framing the discussion around “traditional marriage” where they can avoid offending the gay-tolerant majority while still preaching bigotry. Were the Gay Rights movement to play this smart, they could pull a rabbit out of the hat by responding to the haters who proclaim not to hate the gay people, but only to be fighting for “marriage-as-straight”. I say, let them have it for now. Let’s call them out at their word. Gay people are not hated, but they just want to “protect” traditional marriage? Fine, we’ll let the gay marriage fight go (leaving state and federal laws as is), how about universal, federal protections for LGBT folks for employment, housing and medical coverage? How about the basic legal protections that straight individuals have without question?
Let’s say we can live without the institution of “marriage”, if only we can have government-protected individual freedoms, [mostly] the same as straight individual freedoms are protected. Give us equality as individuals and let us have regular relationships (after all, relationships are critical to sexual identity) and we’ll make a little truce on the marriage battle, see what happens later. We’ve already seen what just coming out has done – what a world of difference between now and the 1960s – homosexuality is no longer considered a crime nor a psychological disorder. Let’s keep working on the basics and worry about the icing (e.g., gay marriage) after the cake is baked.
Speaking of which, Massachusetts is truly great, fully addressing gender expression (alongside already protected sexual orientation), with An Act Relative to Gender Identity (in effect July, 2012)
