Couples have some obvious advantages in terms of the physical intimacy and companionship that a relationship provides. Less obvious perhaps are the many societal advantages that being in a relationship gives people. Marriage (the “ideal”) provides many legal and social advantages, but even non-married couples are treated as the “standard” (what everyone should be, usually in temporary state prior to marriage, which of course everyone should ultimately aspire to), while singles are looked upon with pity and sometimes scorn. Many people, who leave the ranks of single to become coupled up, distance themselves from their old single friends in preference for other couple friends. Some organizations (i.e., most of politics) are completely closed to the un-married and single.
Throughout the entertainment complex, there is an obsession with relationships (love and sex both), which is a common theme in many, perhaps the majority of stories. When singles are acknowledged at all, single women are singled out (ha) as pariahs - the “old maid” pejorative of old has now been replaced with “cat-lady.” No one really acknowledges the existence of single parents (or if they do, it’s something that needs “fixing” with a wedding ring). Single men or “bachelors” are seen as biding their time until a suitable bride can be found. Most representations of singledom involve severe loneliness, misanthropy and/or mental illness. Not independence, self-reliance, community involvement or emotional sturdiness.
Couples are celebrated every day of the year in our culture while singles are put down or ignored, so having a special holiday dedicated to “romance” is a bit like having “white history month” (as if the already privileged need more recognition).
Additionally, Saint Valentine’s Day is nominally a Christian event (or Christian-co-opted pagan event) and I believe religious events are best left to the devout.
More importantly, Valentine’s Day has become, much like Christmas, a commercially co-opted holiday of oblivious consumption. Chocolates and cards are relatively benign, but the industrial horticulture that produces flowers in February is toxic to the environment and those flowers are only a few steps from decay after having been cut and sold to you – not really such a nice gesture of affection as they might seem at first. Worse yet are diamonds and certain other precious stones which may be pretty, but in many cases are helping to fund wars and genocide in other countries (like Sierra Leone).
I say celebrate romance if you like, but you don’t need a national holiday to do that, nor do you need to buy expensive baubles, just do something nice (like make dinner), use your creativity and enjoy your time together.
