Category: philosophy/sociology

Even as our society becomes more permissive, it’s becoming more intolerant. The religiopolitical landscape is weak with diversiphobia. What I mean is the “behind closed doors” or “not allowed” policy against any state of being that some find offensive, like the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy about homosexuality, but also the more pervasive and often subtle racism, classism, censorism and other isms. Even discussion is not allowed as people get louder and more vehement with repetitive statements instead any attempt at rational debate. People try to legislate their opinions into fact (like the constitutional amendments against gay marriage or pushing for prayer in schools).

The reality that diversiphobes are blind to is that diversity is a wonderful and necessary thing, even when you dislike it. If someone disagrees with you and you have a [calm] discussion with them, you can articulate and refine the arguments that support your viewpoint. Of course, there’s a small chance that you may be convinced to change your opinion; maybe that is what they’re really afraid of. But changing your mind occasionally is part of being human.

I find that I learn the most from other perspectives and often it strengthens my own convictions by prompting me to consider more aspects and think it over more thoroughly. I also learn a lot by interacting from people from different cultures or backgrounds who are fundamentally different from myself. It’s not always comfortable, but having been through a few dozen has been mind-opening.

We can learn nothing from sameness.

50% of all women are lesbians and 75% of all women are Caucasian. Is that true? Not exactly, it’s a projected statistic based on a sample group of 4 of my friends. Statistics aren’t precisely lies, but they can be extremely misleading when presented as if they were absolutes.

Statistics are estimates, not facts. It is disingenuous to use “is” or “are” with any statement that is not an absolute measurement. 50% of my my rollerskate wheels are purple (8 are purple, 8 are blue); from that, I could estimate that 50% of all rollerskate wheels will be purple, but I can’t rightly say that “50% of all wheels are purple” without any caveat.

There are two main ways that statistics can be skewed: one is to use a too-small sample group to represent a large population (for example, 1000 people may seem like a lot to you personally, but compared to the population of this country [about 304 million], it’s a drop in the bucket – only about 0.0003%), another is to use a non-representative population (for example, if you’re trying to gauge support of a Republican president for the entire country using a sample group from only Democrat-leaning cities like New York and San Francisco, you’ll get results skewed further against that president than you would if your sample group was more diverse and representative of the population as a whole).

These two facets allow for mistakes (bad statistics) and for intentional misrepresentation (manipulative statistics), especially when coupled with statements as “fact.” Continue reading “lies, damn lies & statistics”

Milan Kundera describes kitsch (within his 1984 novel “The Unbearable Lightness of Being”), in what he claims is the original definition, as “the absolute denial of shit, in both the literal and figurative senses of the word; kitsch excludes everything from its purview which is essentially unacceptable in human existence.” He goes on to link this idea of kitsch with both nationalism and revolutionary movements, with communism and anti-communism (note: he’s writing about Czechloslovakia during the Soviet occupation). He also links it with romanticism and religiosity.

While I’d only recently read this novel, I have long been familiar with his idea of kitsch, except as a teenager, I’d called it “disneyfication” in the sense that my world (whitebread middleclass existence in a private Catholic high school) was assaulting me with ridiculous fantasies and expectations, like the saccharine movies of that copywrite-crazy corporation. We were all supposed to grow up and get good jobs, make money, (be white & heterosexual,) get married, have kids and play house in a happy utopia of America=#1! and white-picket fences. Continue reading “Kundera’s Kitsch”

Contradictions used to bother me, but I’ve always lived (and thrived) within them, so over time I came to accept them as a part of life. I’m not especially spiritual (eschewing concepts of soul, afterlife and religion), but at the same time I feel connected to more than just the visual world. At times, I flitter about the edges of enlightenment, or I flatter myself that I do.

One of the concepts I believe in, while also choosing to disbelieve, is that all is one. Everything is connected and everything is God. Yet some Eastern religions (especially Hinduism, Buddhism and other relatives) take this concept as a goal – enlightenment means becoming one with everything. That strikes me as somewhat nihilistic: becoming everything in a grand sense would require eradicating the self. And I think being individuals is what keeps the game of life so interesting. So I avoid getting too connected as I do like my idiosyncrasies.

Another problematic concept for me is destiny. From a scientific standpoint, it’s hard for me to imagine that everything is not predetermined (from the speed of the wind, the moment of birth, the location, the genetics, the parents, people, plants, things encountered and the order in which things occur – every circumstance together will determine every thought and choice). However, I am enamored with the concept of free will – it’s so lovely to imagine that I am choosing which words to use, the clothes I wear and I wrap myself in this fantasy for better living. Continue reading “spiritual dilemmas”

I’m not sure I understand our cultural obsession with youth. Sure, there are some advantages to being young, but I think it’s a pretty even tradeoff getting to be a bit older, losing a bit of firmness while gaining experience, wisdom and confidence. About 9 months back, I met a girl who was on the verge of turning 30 and freaking out about it. She was drinking and partying every night like it would be her last; it got me a bit worried (I was 29 at the time), but when it came my time, I didn’t freak out. It was, more or less, just another day, but it did get me thinking a bit. There were times when I never thought I’d live to 30; it seemed so ancient, but I still feel young.

I guess I am lucky in a sense because I always hated being a kid; adults would always condescend to me and I never had much in the way of self-determination (which frustrated me to no end). Turning 18 and being able to make all my own decisions (except alcohol, of course) was a big relief, but I didn’t have enough experience or confidence to really handle things yet. Every year since then has gotten better and better. Even though I know my body is breaking down – a few more wrinkles, a lot more gray hair. I just appreciate so much more of life and I make much better and more informed decisions.

Although my lifestyle isn’t always as health-oriented as I’d like it to be, compared to the average American, I’m pretty darn healthy. Staying out of the sun and not smoking should keep my skin in good shape (people already sometimes think I’m younger than my little sister, who only looks her age [25]); I’ve been coloring my hair since I was 17, so the grays don’t matter much; I eat pretty well (lots of veggies, not too much processed foods) and I like my exercise. So age alone isn’t going to rampage my body the way it does for some people.

Aside from the aging itself (losing youthful appearance/energy can be tough), the other thing is of course the big D, that no one likes to talk about. I’m not particularly looking forward to dying; however, I strongly feel that death is precisely what makes life worth living. And it is a part of life, so to some extent, we must accept it. And know that it could happen any time (not just when we hit some high number of years). So I try to work with what I’ve got, managing the aches and pains and loving the joys.

Besides, as I said recently to my friend Uschka (of us fabulous ones aging), what little we lose in natural beauty, we more than make up for in makeup and costuming skills (and budgets/wardrobes). 😉

I like me a good snowstorm. Not frequently, but occasionally. Of course weather always affects us when we venture out of our climate controlled rectangles, but there’s something about a whole lot of snow that makes us seriously take notice of it. Especially if you’re a driver. And sure, it’s inconvenient, but it’s also strangely beautiful. More importantly, it drags us back to the reality of nature and that us humans, despite all our technology, entertainments and industry, are still susceptible to the capricious physics of our environment.

I’ve always known that exercise has the quality of making you feel good, releasing endorphins during a good workout and making your body look and feel better afterwards. Recently, though, I’ve been coming to the conclusion that exercise is necessary not only for your body/muscles, but also for other aspects of self: intelligence, creativity and emotions. Getting proper amounts of exercise in all areas can bring about a kind of joyful existence that most people would term “happiness” and doing without even one of these things will draw a shadow on your general mood that you may not clearly see, but will nonetheless dampen your experiences and prevent you from being complete.

For intelligence, I think standardized schooling sets a very bad example. Aside from focusing too much on rote memorization (rather than critical thinking), it is considered to be a structured part of childhood, that is, you learn while you’re at school as a child/young adult and otherwise (outside of school and after “graduation”), learning is not considered. Not so, my friends. Learning is something that we can and should be doing nearly all the time. This means that new experiences are desirable, such as meeting different kinds of people and surmounting different kinds of challenges. Sometimes you can learn the most from your mistakes (if you truly reevaluate things). There is danger in intellectual inactivity – when I feel myself starting to repeat, going through the days step by step without ever considering things, without approaching the world of ideas, without interacting, conversing, debating on that world of ideas, then I stagnate. My mind grows numb and my mood sinks. Just like when I haven’t been getting enough physical exercise. Continue reading “secret of happiness – exercise?”

Astrology is a thorny issue for me because so many of my otherwise like-minded friends and acquaintances have believed in it, while I have been a skeptic for many years. In some areas of thought, this might be a non-issue, but I feel that astrology, at least popular astrology vis-à-vis “signs,” is a way of prejudging people based on a singular arbitrary characteristic (in this case by birth-date, but similar to prejudices based on [perception of] gender, race or age). Although I cannot fully articulate it, I see a pattern of how shortcuts like this stifle the ability for humans to communicate and connect (i.e., rather than judging individuals based on their merits as learned through getting to know them, there is a readymade category to pop them into before deciding whether to get to know them). Of course, I am a staunch individualist, owing from many years of being mis-categorized by other people’s presumptions.

First I should clarify what I mean by the term astrology. From Wikipedia: “Astrology (Greek: study on the stars) is a group of systems, traditions, and beliefs in which knowledge of the relative positions of celestial bodies and related details is held to be useful in understanding, interpreting, and organizing information about personality, human affairs, and other terrestrial matters.” There are three main kinds of astrology: Western, Indian and Chinese. Also from Wikipedia: “In Western and Indian astrology, the emphasis is on space, and the movement of the sun, moon and planets in the sky through each of the zodiac signs. In Chinese astrology, by contrast, the emphasis is on time, with the zodiac operating on cycles of years, months, and hours of the day.”

Although I don’t ascribe much validity to it, I don’t have much of an issue with the complex study of astrology as it’s not at all an easy way of prejudging people (because you’d have to spend painstaking hours/days of research to figure out any individual’s chart and “read” their personality/destiny), but I take particular exception to “popular astrology.” This is a modern form of Western astrology that relies primarily or solely on the “sun sign” (i.e., the location of the sun on a person’s date of birth in the zodiac [which is a division of the celestial sphere based on “signs” of 30 degrees, roughly pertaining to certain well-known constellations, such as Aries]); this form of astrology is what you’ll see in the backs of numerous newspapers and magazines and is what most believers use to make spot judgments (i.e., so-and-so is a Scorpio, they tend to be control-freaks, watch out). That said, I will enumerate my points (some of which pertain only to Western or popular astrology): Continue reading “the thorny issue of astrology”

I just finished reading Neil Strauss’s “The Game,” which is a non-fiction account of his rise and fall as a MPUA [master pick-up artist]. It’s very interesting in-and-of itself (not quite what you’d expect), but what I found most interesting was comparing myself to the pickup artist mentality. Before reading this, I would have said that I have nothing at all in common with any pickup artist, but now I know that I have some behaviors that are standard pickup strategies, just not the same intentions.

I’m not the kind of person who easily approaches women or tries to seduce them, however, I do have several features that the pick-up artists aspire to. 1. peacockery (dressing flamboyantly is a good way to get noticed, contrary to what many men think) and 2. what they call “negs” (which are mildly negative or non-complimentary comments made to the object of interest to make her think that you’re not interested, such as “Those are nice nails, are they real?” [example from the book]). Those two alone have gained me some success in getting positive attention from women. Only I’m not trying to seduce, just being myself and not buying into the usual game where men fawn all over beautiful women, showering them with compliments (even when they have boyfriends). Why should I bother?

On the other hand, there are some marked differences between myself and the pick-up artists: I don’t have any lines, nor the kind of confidence needed to strike up conversations with random strangers (I’m terrible at small talk and even hellos can be a challenge), but I do have the kind of deeper self-confidence (in myself, rather than in my “routine”) that keeps most people who get to know me interested. Somewhat surprisingly (not so much when you really think about it, but different from my first thoughts anyhow), the book reveals the pick-up artists as deeply insecure. Although they gain confidence in their abilities to seduce, they start training in seduction tactics because of deep initial insecurities, which then get painted over with a kind of validation by women’s attention which then becomes its own kind of neediness.

Wow. So, although it’s pretty amazing the tricks they master and ability to quickly engage strangers (I must admit, I am a bit envious – they seem to be able to get any group of men and women to like them), I realized that I’m actually a lot better off than they are. I don’t have to be fake and I actually like myself (and I didn’t need to go to pickup school to figure out basic grooming and style), but then again, I never really qualified as an “AFC” [average frustrated chump] anyhow. I do think it’s a good reminder though that I could actually conquer my shyness around strangers and I think I’d like to work on that (if I can just get around the boring typical conversations about work, how do you know so-and-so and where do you live – maybe I do need to invent some of my own lines).