let the dead go

It is healthy to grieve when someone you know and love dies. However, death is a part of life, and it only makes sense to accept that fact. People die, their bodies decay and fall apart and the world moves on. What is up with our [Western] obsession with keeping dead people around forever? I don’t understand why such an obvious psychological problem permeates our culture. Paying thousands of dollars for a thick wood or metal container to hold the decaying remains? Dressing it up in some nice clothes to be buried in? Assigning a parcel of land for permanent residence of this bunch of decaying matter and, worse, lining the grave with concrete as if placing the coffin in some ill-conceived studio condominium?

Cemeteries are a complete waste of resources. I like cemeteries, mind you: they’re peaceful places to visit or picnic, but I just don’t think we should be memorializing and forever keeping the dead. The land could be better used for farming or housing for our growing populations or for much nicer public parks (without the tripping hazards of stones and markers). Also, it’s not healthy to obsess so much. I think the Vikings had that part right, send the remains out to sea on a burning boat. You can let the fire and the floating away symbolize your grief and get it out of your system.

Wakes are a good idea – very important to confront the death and the grief and to share with others who cared. Fixing the dead up to look like mannequin versions of their living selves seems a little twisted, but I don’t mind that too much as long as it helps people to grieve and move on. But death is not an unnatural part of life – we will all know people who die and we must deal with death when (not if) it comes.

I don’t much care what happens to my body after I die. I hope it wouldn’t be incarcerated in a concrete tomb/grave and waste thousands of dollars from the people who deal with my remains (better to be eaten by wild animals and worms) and I really hope that those who care for me wouldn’t keep my remains around (not in a jar or in some cemetery plot), but I really won’t care, I’ll be dead. Religion-wise, I tend to waver between atheism and agnosticism (not really believing in an afterlife, but not always sure), but even if there is an afterlife, then my “spirit” would be in that afterlife, not in or hovering around some decaying organic matter. Likewise, my spirit doesn’t live in the millions of skin cells I keep shedding or fingernail and hair clippings.

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