The concept of neutrality (or moderation) seems to embody a sort of lofty wisdom in our culture, an ability to stay “above” the fighting. However, in reality, maintaining a strict neutrality is more often a sign of severe apathy, unwillingness to engage or fear of confrontation.
I’m not the kind of person who thinks in binary, so I won’t say that every dispute requires that one pick a side, but I will say that in the case of heated debate on an issue or set of issues, the underlying opposing viewpoints are often complex and merit some consideration. Moreover, the two (or more) sides are frequently uneven (i.e., one side often has a much stronger case), so if the neutralists could weigh the issues and involve themselves, they might help solve the issue in the most favorable way.
About 10 years ago, I was living with 2 roommates who were “random” in the sense that we’d met online and interviewed in person. While they weren’t friends, we were all civil and got along fine, I thought. Then after about 1 year, there was a conflict. I’d brought up some concerns regarding our landlord and was trying to bolster support for asking the landlord to take care of some things. After a few rounds of discussion (in person and on email), one of my roommates began cursing me out on the emails and became a complete jerk in person, slamming doors and refusing to talk to me. I did not respond in kind, rather I tried to re-open dialog calmly, to no avail. Baffled and upset, I asked the other roommate (who had witnessed this behavior) for help and she said that she didn’t want to get involved, that we were both being “extreme.” Continue reading “Neutrality (it’s not as neutral as you think)”