Medusa kisses

Isn’t it funny that the more interactions we have, the less we tell each other? I mean the way that when we intentionally meet new people (dating, new friends, etc.), after the prerequisite fluff questions (work, blah-blah-blah), by the 2nd or 3rd conversation, things quickly turn deep, with questions about deep-seated political views, religious beliefs, where we grew up, what our family life was like, what defining moments really made us who we are. Yet, with the people we already know, we’ve long forgotten any such conversations, if indeed we ever had them. Conversations with people already know usually bounce along subjects like the weather and how are you feeling, not unimportant exactly, but in some ways trivial. I sometimes think I’ve told people I’ve just met know more significant things than people I’ve known for decades.

This is not to say that I’m not close with people I’ve known a long time, but there seems to be more of a veil in place, layers of secrecy and omissions (especially with family) that just isn’t there with the new people. I think it has something to do with personal evolution. We’re constantly reinventing ourselves, but with the people we’ve known forever, it’s sometimes easier to pretend to be more similar to the old self than we really are. The people who remember that self so clearly are pushing for that anyways (and may not even acknowledge a difference you choose to reveal). With people we’re getting to know, we can present the new self, with the newly discovered memories of defining moments, refining our viewpoints, our religion and polishing it all with the brush of experience.

Also, there is an allure to strangers, the illicit thrill of revealing too much, a message in a bottle with your heart’s desire clearly spelled out and thrown into the ocean tide for acceptance, or not. Sometimes, it’s easiest to forge a connection when you know someone you just met will be leaving soon (or you will) and you can abandon your cumbersome but necessary inhibitions for a short while, knowing that you can put them right back on, more comfortably, after you’ve had a bit of a break.

On the other hand, there’s something to be said for the accumulated months and years of interactions. There isn’t as much need to tell because the non-verbal communication is much more free-flowing and in a way, it’s easier to say true words and lie to a virtual stranger, than it is to say false words and misrepresent to a close friend. Still, it is strange that, verbally, we divulge so much to the new and omit so much from the old.

When I was younger, I used to think that hypocrisy was one of the worst things that humans do. To advocate certain behaviors for others and act contrary to one’s words just seemed so wrong. But later, I learned an important lesson about it. At one point, I had a very bad roommate situation as we were completely incompatible (though we had been close friends before living together). I learned some things though and ended up reevaluating my feelings on hypocrisy. This is because she often referred to me as a hypocrite for situations that seemed perfectly logical to me. I don’t remember all the circumstances, but I do remember one.

She was a night owl and often stayed up until 2 or 3 am on weekdays, while I was generally in bed by midnight. Since she was up, she liked to do things, including laundry, but the laundry machine was near my bedroom and the dryer was very loud (especially with clothing that had metal in it) and kept me awake (I’m a light sleeper), so I asked her not to begin laundry after 11 (so that it would be done or close to done by midnight). She was rather unhappy at this request and I needed to reiterate it on a number of occasions, but she did grudgingly comply. However, one day, I was running out of clean clothes and desperately needed to do laundry and I began it at 11:15 and suddenly I was a hypocrite. Now, her bedroom was on the other side of the apartment and as I said, she stayed up until 2 or 3 am most days and she’s a heavy sleeper and she never asked me not to do laundry at night. So it seemed perfectly clear to me that the situations were different – my request of her was one of consideration for me, but because I did something that I asked her not to do, I was a hypocrite. Even after I asked her if it bothered her if I did laundry and she said no, except that I’m a hypocrite. Continue reading “hypocrisy aint so bad”

Oh, we humans are so proprietary with our laws and all our abstract concepts that can be “owned”. No doubt whatever gods may exist are highly amused at our childish antics. As if owning a piece of the earth weren’t absurd enough, we also think that we can own ideas themselves. I invented this or I thought of that first and I got dibs on that mathematical equation. Granted, there are some brilliantly creative minds out there that come up with relatively new concepts that many of us can reap the benefits of, but no one really creates anything from scratch. All ideas are derivative and new concepts are only new combinations of old elements.

Benjamin Franklin didn’t invent electricity, it was already there and he is the first successful publicist of the concept (in fact, the Greeks had discovered this concept much earlier with static electricity). Likewise with Isaac Newton and the gravity (thanks, apple). And oftentimes, many of these ideas come about at the same time and then there’s a publicity war about who invented or discovered it first. Galileo was a proponent of the world is round theory (at a time when most of Europe believed the world was flat), but behind this theory lay the science of astronomy (and his trusty telescope). The sum of human knowledge is additive and with the more complex blocks that exist each generation, we can build even more complex paradigms, much like atoms are composed of building blocks of protons, neutrons and electrons, while molecules are composed of atoms and cells are composed of molecules and so on. Continue reading “Proprietary Passion & the myth of originality”